Orlando

God, Orlando is hot. I mean, really, I-want-to-shag-him-till-he-can't-move hot. Mother and I went to see Elizabethtown, and oh, my, god. That movie is awesome. Funny, sweet and just.. awesome. Go see it.

During the movei, per usual, Mother and I gt slurpees, a large popcorn, and chocolate. We shared the chocolate, drank the slurpees, and fought to cram the most popcorn down each other's outlying bits of clothing. During most of the movie, I had husks of corn in my pants. Ow.

On the way out, we had another fight, and stopped suddenly. On the door in front of us was the sticker that explains my whole life. It read:

Open with wedge,
Remove when finished.

This sticker changes my whole outlook, somehow. Whoa.

I love Mother. She is like the deranged girlfriend I never had, or avoid, because she's kinda drunk-looking.

--Dennis, the one who's upstairs, licking the ears of her Legolas Standee.